• Me: I'm gonna eat healthier.
  • Also me with only 3 packs of Ramen Noodles and a jar of pickles in my kitchen and $2 in my bank account: Maybe next week.

lesbianejirehadou:

i’m sorry

potter-demigoddess:

Me: *coming out of the bookstore*

Parent: Did you buy more books

Me:

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fireheartholland:

Me, after finishing a book with a cliffhanger: “You know what fuck this series I’m not being strung along like this it’s a fucking no from me, good day sir.”

Me, five minutes later: *pre-orders next book on amazon*

thursdays-fallen-angel:

ao3commentoftheday:

castles-of-words:

pick your stories. pick… pick fewer stories than that. put some stories back. that’s too many

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alternatively: 

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hotstuffhargrove:

caffeinated-suggestions:

Concept: sleepy kisses in the dark, smiling against your lips.

Need

musicallymaniacal:

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i feel attacked.

theyellowbrickroad:

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

nunyabizni:

you were warned my dude